This July 4th weekend will be an extra special one and a first for me. Joy and I are traveling to San Antonio, TX in the next three days for an international conference hosted by our church. I've never been to Texas but have heard about its thrift and food scene. I've also never been to a conference by our church before. A little more than 2 years ago I made the decision to make Jesus the Lord of my life, and it still amazes me every time I flip open the bible with someone else how different everything turned out. It's been two years of learning, sharing my heart, sharing my life, making friends, and crying until my whole body ached. It's been two years of staying up late because of a heated spiritual debate, and laughing until we doubled over on top of each other holding our stomachs and wiping away tears. I never thought I would feel as vulnerable and broken as I've felt with God. I never thought I'd be so privileged to be able to see my character more and more clearly and to be allowed to hope for repentance and change. I've never been shown such grace and mercy as I have in these last two years.
am dumbfounded every second that I look back. How is it possible that it's only
been two years when it feels like a lifetime? I studied with and
baptized a young woman whose parents went to college with mine. We
solidified a friendship 3 decades in the making, vowing to pass on the
legacy to our children. She is now my roommate and sharpens me with the Word of God when I need it the most. And when things get though and I'm hurting, we allow each other to cry but help each other to laugh. My best friend move into my building in
the last two years, on the same floor, right across the hall. If I look
into my peephole I can see her door and I confess I've often spied on
her coming home when Korean voices and loud stomping travel up the
staircase. She has many a times came over without knocking, ate out of my
fridge without permission, and co-owned my accessories closet. She was a
rock every time everything start to spin out of control. She favors me and I feel undeserving of such a wonderful friend. I fell in love
with a guy who stole my heart in a way that took me completely by
surprise. We dreamed about our future and all that we can do together
and when it ended my heart bled and my world broke into tiny pieces. I held on to scriptures because I felt
too numb to hold onto anything else. I passed every part of the CPA exam and
started my first full time position with a big four accounting firm. Yet I have been HUMBLED in every way possible in my first year with the firm.
I have never had a more sober judgment of myself as I do now and pray
that with each passing breath I sober up even more. I need God. I have
God. What Joy...(see what I did there?)
breath I ready myself for the week ahead. Here's to an amazing
conference: for soft hearts, thirsty minds, and humbled spirits. Here's
to new friendships and crazy memories to tell our grandchildren one day.
Here's to rekindled love for God, His mission, and His church. Here's
to hoping that I can learn all that God has in store for me to take away
and for a spiritual high that lasts a life time.