I'm feeling weird. If I were really honest, I've been feeling weird. Reading someone's vulnerable words always inspires me to be vulnerable right back; so due to my lack of audience right now, I'll unload it here. I miss NYC...the move to Los Angeles has been the hardest thing I've ever done in my life- and the thing is, it caught me completely by surprise!
Life this past yr (since meeting Mike) has been so weird! I don't think I've ever faced so many transitions all at once. There's the transition of my heart, my physical location, job, church, small group, friends, hotel rooms in multiple states, apartment, apartment, apartment, then I settled in what will be Mike and my first home. Then a new roommate, then she left, a new car, new roads and horrible drivers, and the LA traffic...oh the LA traffic. Then the engagement and planning a wedding in 4 months!
I've never felt so detached from people, places, familiar things, favorite restaurants, feeling mobile, feeling energized. I'm weary and I feel so weird! Yet my heart is so full. There are moments like right now where I can release the anxiety I feel in my heart and feel quieted. In moments when I open my bible I feel comforted. And then there are friends who are so true, steadfast, and loyal. Life to me, is marked by relationships and memories. Without them, it loses its lure and luster and I have come to appreciate the friends who have rallied around me this past year. Christine, there are no words to describe how I love and appreciate you. I would not be here without you and I can't imagine my life without you. Mike, you are the most incredible man I've ever met and to think that God made you for me...my mind cannot comprehend it. I'd be lost without God's grace and guidance but I'd be lonely without the love of friendships both old and new.